Author: admin

  • On setting goals

    I love the end of the year season. I mean after all the Christmas celebrations and as the year starts to wind down, I take time to pause and think about how the year went. What was it like for me? If I had to re-do it, what would I do differently? It is like playing the year on a big screen and painstakingly sitting through the uncomfortable parts, you know, those cringeworthy parts that make you say as you smack your forehead — what was I thinking? Gosh! You also fist pump the air at those scenes in your life this past year that make you yell — yeah! We did that, we sure did.

    I love those moments. It is very introspective, honest, raw and sometimes uncomfortable almost like getting a physical exam at the doctor’s and you have to endure the discomfort of being stripped, poked and prodded in places that you consider very intimate and private. A necessity indeed but most uncomfortable.

    We need to adopt the same approach with our lives not only at the end of the year but at designated points to keep us focused. Does it have to be only at the end of the year, you may ask? Absolutely not, you can decided to do this at any point in time. The end of the year is a universal time cleanse of sorts when we get to reset together as humanity and begin counting from the beginning.

    We live in a world that has times and seasons ie winter, autumn, spring and summer and we recognise these seasons when they arrive and dress accordingly. Likewise, there is a chronological sequence to life and we honour that through minutes, days, months, years etc.When life presents us with these perfectly timed opportunities, I don’t know about you, I just take it.

    I had a friend that smirks every time I talk about my goals and my practice of goal setting and how it gives me structure. One argument I often hear is — “What is the point, we are going to get stuck anyway”, “don’t you think setting goals limits you?”

    I do not think that setting goals puts limits on people, rather it multiple ways such as providing structure, breaking down goals to become manageable and to clarify focus.

    Every end of the year, I spend time reviewing the year and taking stock of what went well and what needs more work. Here are some areas to review

    Relationships — What was the quality of my relationships like this year? Did I invest in my friendships? Did I set healthy boundaries for myself? Was I consistent with my words to friends, family and partners? Did I show up for people and have people show up for me? What do I want to see in the year relationship wise?

    Health and Fitness — Did I take care of my body this year by eating well, working out and taking adequate rest? Did I love and honour my body enough and not try to run it to the ground? What commitments did I make that I need to honour? (regular spa date, intermittent fasting, regular cleanse, moderate eating etc)

    Mental and Intellectual — Did I learn something new? Was I committed to reading for at least an hour a day? What new skills did I learn this year? It could be something as simple as organising the closet, resilience, negotiating with the kids etc. Is there a significant progress in mental/intellectual progress?

    Career — Ask yourself these questions- am I happy in my job? Do I feel a sense of fulfilment when I wake up everyday and head to the office? Is there something I can do about it? Is there an opportunity for promotion? What do I need to do to be promoted this year? Can I identify someone who can act as a mentor for me?

    Finances — How much did you spend on Amazon this year? (please don’t ask me) What were your expenses like? If you look at expenditure and income sections of your finances, is it balanced? Were you able to save some money this year? Did you get into more debt on your credit card? What things do you need to cut back on? Do you have plans for multiple streams of income?What step do you need to take in the next three months to actualise this?

    Spiritual — Do you have a spiritual practice? Do you meditate or pray regularly? What do you do to keep you grounded or centred? Do you take regular intervals to deliberately slow down and listen to your body, your intuition and breathe? Do you have gratitude journal? What are most grateful for this year? Write them down. Count your blessings and name them one by one.

     

    The practice of taking stock at the end of year helps you to think of how to position yourself for next year and live a fulfilling life.

    What other areas of your life are you taking stock of in preparation for the new year?

  • Should you change your accent?

    Should you change your accent?

    I saw on my feed yesterday that parents in Nigeria are paying for their children to “acquire” or “learn” a British accent. This has been touted as “elocution or pronunciation” lessons.

    As someone who is passionate about helping people communicate effectively and speak well, and having offered such lessons to public speakers in the past, I have a number of thoughts on the topic.

    Coincidentally, I watched an interview on Good Morning Britain today where British celebrity Mark Wright admitted to taking elocution lessons. He was accused of discarding his roots by polishing his accent. Mark’s response was that having got a gig in LA, he was made aware that his Essex accent posed a problem because it was difficult for people to understand him properly.

    The fact is that accents have become a form of social capital. People immediately form opinions about you when you open your mouth. They place you, assess you and judge you just by the way you sound.

    So for better or worse, certain accents have emerged as acceptable whether it is the posh British accent or the American twang.

    The question is to what extent should we allow ourselves drawn into this form of social categorization?

    Our striving Nigerian parents are echoing the sentiments that have long being an issue in the same Britain they are aiming to emulate.

    So, the question is “does your accent affect your chances in life?”

    A survey by Census wide for Good Morning Britain has found that one in four people think you should change the way you speak to be more successful at work.

    I know the complexities of growing up in the Nigerian environment especially in certain cultures that have problems with correct articulation of sounds. These can affect a person’s speech. We have the “h-factor” for the west, the “r factor” for the east and the “f factor” for the North.

    If you have problems with the way you currently sound and want it addressed then, please go for it.

    If you feel your current accent is hindering you from being properly understood, work on it. There are exercises to do that would help you speak clearly and be understood.

    If you are a public speaker and have difficulty being understood, hire a coach. Identify the problem areas and commit to working on it.

    My advice is this “strive to be understood, strive for clarity”.You don’t want your content getting lost because people are unable to understand you or are having a hard time wondering if you said air or hair.

    If you feel your accent affects your chances of success, then like everything in life, work on it. But work on it to the extent that it does not become an obsession with being who you are not. Elocution and sounding like an Americana or British by force smacks of an identity crises.I would caution parents, that you don’t/should pay for children to acquire an accent but you can pay to have your children taught the right principles of enunciation, elocution and pronunciation. These with a dollop of good character, a serving of sound education and right opportunities will give them a great start in life.

    Speaking well is not about an accent. It is the making the right sounds, properly voicing the vowels and consonants, difficult words and phrases etc. This is about articulation, place of articulation and manner of articulation.

    The truth is that everyone has an accent. You can’t really eliminate an accent. It is what makes you who you are.